The Yield: Writing a book about Alzheimer's challenges, blessings

January 11, 2008 02:33 pm

— Writing a book on Larry’s passage with Alzheimer’s and my journey as his caregiver has been a blessing. Throughout the years Larry enjoyed reading about our children, Sarah and Wade, in The Land.
He would remind me after he’d read one, “be sure to gather all articles and put them in a scrapbook for each of them.” I reminded him that I would like to write a book about his disease.
We’d had “the book” discussion many times throughout the progression of his illness. I explained I wanted to help people who experience Alzheimer’s — patients, spouses, parents, children and friends. “Maybe, if I write from a caregiver’s perspective, it will help someone,” I thought.
In the beginning, Larry said it helped him to read about my situation as a caregiver. I read a few of the columns to him when he was in the nursing home.
One column was about his being honored for showing poultry at the Minnesota State Fair for 50 years.
He so wanted to acknowledge his accomplishments. His brother, Mark, got the award form and I filled it out. I read it to him. “That’s what I did,” he responded.
A month later he didn’t remember or care. His life was changing. He seemed to be elsewhere. One day, a friend and I prayed that he would see a glimpse of heaven. I got more than we asked for.
Larry was walking around and kept saying, “It’s so beautiful, just beautiful.” The words were not garbled, they were clear. “What is beautiful?” I asked.
“It’s just so beautiful.” And then the Alzheimer’s look crept into his face and I wanted to cry. He seemed so peaceful.
Would people believe me? I didn’t care. God is gracious to the caregiver, too. We need faith and encouragement, also.
I am retyping my copies of The Land columns, doing editing, giving the book order, and letting it emerge. It is painful to remember the feelings of fear — fear of not measuring up as a caregiver, fear of dying and wondering what I will do without Larry.
Sometimes we talked about how difficult it is to be ill and dying. And I painfully watched someone I love die. We agreed to forgive and love each other. God gave us special help during this very difficult time in our lives. I knew Larry would soon be with Jesus. I believe because of our dependence on God, my life on this earth is better, and Larry is with Jesus.
Psalm 50:15 “and call upon Me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”
Begin a “yield notebook.” Check out what the Lord has done for you in 2008.
Our yields during illness:
• Larry and I did call upon the Lord in the day of trouble. Remember a time when you called on the Lord in one of your times of trouble. Write it in a yield notebook and read it next year at this time.
• The Lord delivered Larry and me by giving us a special love for each other during this time. Not only were we close, but also, God was close. Larry’s “glimpse” was an affirmation from God. He was more peaceful after that experience.
• How did God affirm (deliver) you?
• I thanked God for this wonderful affirmation of heaven. I shared with others because God is so good, in so many ways. Read a Psalm of praise. Share your affirmations from God with others. Find someone you trust. Write about your deliverance in the day of trouble.

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